Counselling can help with most relationship and emotional problems
Retirement is supposed to be a time when a person can sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labour, a time that many look forward to. However, with retirement comes new challenges that many do not plan for. The challenges come in both psychological or emotional and physical forms. Due to significant life style changes, many retirees fall into high risk areas of heart attacks and strokes and this generally happens within the first two years of retirement. Many also experience major issues within their marriages. There are many reasons for these issues; we will now have a look at some.
Boredom – many retirees leave jobs where they have made major achievements and have carried significant responsibility. Others leave jobs that have helped them to define who they are while others leave jobs that have given them years of structure and security. Which ever type of job you leave, the changes due to retirement are significant. There are the good points – no-one telling you what to do, you can rest and go out when ever you choose, there are no deadlines, no phones ringing constantly, you do not have to worry about other workers and subordinates, your life and choices are your own. The down side is what do you do to replace what it was that your job gave you?
Many retirees quickly get over the novelty of not having to go to work and slip into boredom, they eat more and put on weight, some drink and smoke more, others turn into couch potatoes as their life revolves around cable TV, whilst others just become a nuisance to their partners. All this leads to a drop in physical and mental health. Retirees in this position put on weight consume more alcohol and/or prescription medications, experience a significant drop in fitness and become depressed, all this leads to the imminent repercussion of a heart attack or a stroke.
To add to this many retirees find their relationships becoming strained. A husband who has spent the last 20 to 40 years working is suddenly transplanted into the home permanently. This can lead to many issues for the wife who has been a house manager and responsible for the home for that period. Even if both members have worked, suddenly being thrown together day in and day out can lead to a strain on the relationship as both members rediscover their partners. There are also power struggles that can emerge as both partners try to assert themselves over how things are going to be done or who is responsible for tasks around the house. A high proportion of mature aged couples I have seen in therapy are couples who up until one or both retired were happy. However neither of them are happy any longer as the dynamics of the relationship have changed unexpectedly. In many of these circumstances because the children have left home and the couple are financially secure with little debt, the partnership has met what it hoped to achieve. Where to from there? Couples are lost and want the direction and purpose which has gone out of the relationship.
In short, a great many retirees experience a significant drop in their health which leads to heart disease and stroke and/or suddenly experience significant negative issues in their matrimonial relationships within the first two years of retiring. Retirement is not necessarily the great time that many had hoped for. This does not have to be the case. Many people plan financially for their retirement, however, most do not plan for the inevitable lifestyle changes. Counselling is a well proven course of prevention or in cases where negative changes are already happening, a positive way of getting back on the tracks. Counselling helps people to stabilise their lives and increase quality of life issues.
Philip Armstrong
Australian Counselling Association
You can find a counsellor in your area by going to the Australian Counselling Association’s web site www.theaca.net.au and using the “Search for a Counsellor” feature on the Home Page.