As you know, for many years we have been writing about how your relationships with your partner can thrive in retirement. We’ve even had a couples’ psychologist write a book about it.
So, what are we going to learn from this time of isolation? In what shape will your relationship come out “on the other side”? Many of the same principles apply as when you are both home in retirement. But of course MULTIPLIED! This is because you can no longer pursue separate outside interests, sports and hobbies.
Here are some tips that may assist:
We know it should go without saying (forgive the pun), but this will be the only way you can work out your new lives together.
- Have a Plan
First of all plan how you are going to handle all the day to day changes with regards to shopping and heading to health or other appointments. Communicate these to each other.
Then plan a list of activities and things you may wish to achieve separately and together each day. But hey, guess what? If that fence hasn’t been painted or the linen closet sorted, don’t nag or feel dispirited. It will be there tomorrow.
- Exercise together
So long as you are both well, take advantage of good weather and head to a local park/beach (that are not closed) or somewhere where you can talk and breathe together while you walk. And, if the weather is bad, there are many online videos where you can continue your strength and stretching regimes. Exercise is so important to maintain your health so that any bout of the dreaded virus won’t affect you as badly as if you are unfit.
- Share video watching, podcasts and listening to music
There are a number of streaming services and You Tube clips that you may wish to watch together or listen to some of the music you both enjoy. Maybe have a dance?
- Learn a card or other game together
I’ve always wanted to learn chess so this may be my chance. My sister is learning card games with her husband. Each teaching the other a skill, respectfully and carefully should add to the other’s enjoyment and create a bit of laughter too.
- Have time away from each other
This may involve reading separately or working on your carpentry and craft skills. And importantly this can mean staying in touch with your friends and family by phone or on one of the many video sharing apps.
- Explore quiet time.
Some couples are using this time to explore their spirituality. Many church services are now being played online and there appear to be many meditation podcasts and videos. A friend sent us a link to the Dharma Channel where Christopher Titmus who is an Insight Meditation teacher has downloaded resources. We found one we really liked and may be helpful for you entitled “Mindfulness of Being Home Together”. We found some great tips from watching this. Mindfulness of being at home together
For more ideas, check out our book “How Your Relationship Can Thrive in Retirement”. And, as always we’d be delighted to hear from you with any ideas. Just email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.