Many men tell us that they didn’t see the problems in their relationship before it was too late. These guys wish they had done maintenance work on their love lives, before things detoriated too far.
Relationships Australia and MensLine Australia have produced a new booklet titled Renovate your relationship: a manual for men, with the aim of getting men to think about the practical side of relationship maintenance and how to do it.
One of the authors, Dr Andrew Bickerdike, who is Relationships Australia Victoria’s General Manager Operations, said men were often baffled by some of the commonly used counselling language and self-help terminology.
“Something a bit more offbeat as well as down to earth and practical may ring more true to men who want to do something about their relationship but are unsure about how,” he said.
“Unfortunately, many men do not see problems in their relationships until it is too late. Renovate your relationship takes a positive and constructive view of what is required to identify problems and work to resolve them.”
Dr Bickerdike said the booklet was set up as a DIY manual for a renovation project – in this case a relationship renovation. “Men are generally good at projects and we believe the positive and practical approach outlined in the booklet has a lot going for it.”
There are 13 project tools in the DIY toolbox:
- Working together?
- Avoiding misunderstandings
- Sharpen up your listening
- Resolving conflict
- When the roof blows off! Anger and frustration
- Who has the power? Abuse and violence
- Self-maintenance
- Renovate your sex life
- Love
- Valuing differences
- Appreciation
- When trust breaks down
- Children – planning for the extension.
Each tool comes with key points and checklists of things to consider and do, expressed in plain and practical language.
The booklet also includes reactions and thoughts from men about their relationships, and other sources of helpful information.
Dr Bickerdike said a call to action in the form of a renovation manual had a lot to offer men who were aware of the strains and gaps in their intimate relationships, but were unable to find good ways to help repair them.
“This booklet, with its emphasis on ‘teamwork’, ‘anti corrosion treatment’ and ‘regular maintenance’, can go some of the way towards that.”
To obtain a copy of the booklet, click on the following link to download it from the website: Renovate your relationship: a manual for men