The question is not ‘What do I do IN my retirement?’ . . . rather ‘What do I do WITH my retirement?’
The very word ‘retirement’ conjures up something different for each and everyone one of us. I wonder what it means for you?
What is interesting is that our attitude towards retirement has changed dramatically over a number of years. Whereas it may still be regarded with apprehension, gone are the days when it was perceived as a gradual decline from productive life and a passive alienation from the rest of the world.
The average age of retirement is now 57½. Life expectancy has increased by 10 years and we are looking at a new phase in our life lasting 30+ years. Improved health, education, increased awareness, technology, all play their part.
People are not retiring simply because their age dictates. The fact is some people cannot afford to. However, many people of 60 years and over choose to continue working simply because they enjoy it! – 93% in fact, according to a recent survey. And why not!
Things we may have taken for granted
Our working life satisfies basic needs and gives us five specific benefits. These benefits become essential ingredients of a fulfilling and enriched retirement lifestyle. The first is financial compensation; this we need if we are to meet our material needs in retirement. The second is time management. Our work gives our life structure – it manages our time – it keeps our life orderly. The third benefit work gives us is a sense of purpose. We feel a sense of contribution, we know we are useful, we bring value. Having a sense of purposeinjects meaning into our life, none more so than when we have ‘retired’ from our place of work.
I know of someone who retired not long ago from a highly demanding and well-paid profession. Together with this wife, he had spent many years planning his retirement. Their financial situation was comfortable, their health was good and they both had a variety of interests. What this person failed to plan for, however, was the fact that he would miss work. His continuing need to feel ‘significant’ was undermining his retirement plans and contributing to the feelings of dissatisfaction and restlessness that he was experiencing. What this person found lacking, despite all his planning, was the combined sense of personal worth and identity that we derive from knowing who we are and what we are. In other words: status – the fourth work benefit. The fifth benefit is socialisation. Our work allows us to interact with others, to develop relationships, form friendships.
These five benefits do not simply go away because we retire; they have become an integral part of us to such a degree that to discard them could well bring about emotional and psychological consequences.
How many times have we heard of people who were formally very involved with their work, emotionally ‘crash’ after they retire? It is not usually because of some sudden catastrophic event like running out of money or losing their home. More commonly, it’s a slow wearing away of the individual. It’s the unseen losses that gradually push us out of balance. We’re not quite ourselves or just feel a sense of being somewhat down. Sometimes, we just cannot put our finger on ‘it’. In extreme circumstances, this sense of personal fragmentation can escalate into depression if left unaddressed. One or more of these five work benefits may be at the heart of our discontent.
Replacing the Five Work Benefits
It is crucial that these five work benefits are replaced in some way as we transition towards, and experience retirement. The Useful links & Articles page on my website http://www.retirementcoach.co.uk/ carries an interesting article which appeared in the Daily Mail two years ago. Published by the British Medical Journal, it highlights the impact of ignoring these work benefits.
Apart from those unexpected, ‘out of the blue’ situations that arise, we generally tend to plan for life events such as special occasions, our children’s schooling, moving house, Christmas etc. Many people spend more time planning for their annual holiday of two weeks or so, than for their retirement of possibly up to 30 years plus!
Whereas some of us may have both a clear picture and vision of how we want our retirement to be and a plan of how we are going to achieve our vision, others don’t! For these people it is a bit like stepping into the unknown. And just what is round that corner? This is where retirement coaching plays its part.
So what is a retirement coach and what do they do?
A professional coach is rather like a personal direction finder – a guide, a ‘sat nav’, a compass, a beacon of light, guiding you safely on your journey. He/she will help you acknowledge your ‘life purpose’ which is at the very heart of a successful retirement. This stage in your life is about opening new doors, not closing old ones and – recognising new opportunities. A coach’s role is to shape a supportive relationship with their client – a relationship built on trust and confidentiality. Using various techniques, a coach will steer the client towards their desired outcome.
Retirement is a major transition, rather like a career change. It needs self -analysis, planning and consultation. I use a tried and tested process which will guide you through the transition into your new career – your retirement – whatever that may mean for you. This process includes helping you establish a clear vision of what you really want and a logical framework for making retirement and life decisions. You will be guided to:
- take stock of your current situation
- face inevitable changes
- resolve retirement issues and concerns
- envisage, design and plan how you want your ideal retirement to be
- move forward with confidence and a clear vision
We may need to reframe the way we think. We do need to live life in the present not the past, appreciate what we already have, maintain a social network, welcome change and be able to adapt.
As much as retirement can be about getting away from work, it is also about getting ‘in touch’ with those activities that give us a sense of fulfilment and that are personally satisfying. For many of us, the chances are that we will be doing some kind of work, be it paid or voluntary. (Nearly 50% of the aggregated results of those taking my pre-retirement survey (see website) fell into this category.) This is how we are able to satisfy some of the work benefits mentioned earlier.
How to Achieve Your Retirement Dream
Of all the many areas of discussion and focus that retirement planning encompasses, there are three major ingredients to achieving your retirement ‘dream’:
1. Treat your retirement transition as you would treat a career move. It needs careful planning.
2. Conduct your own personal financial analysis. Seek expert guidance from an independent financial advisor with whom you can develop a trusting partnership. You will find very few certified (i.e. qualified) retirement coaches who are also qualified to advise you on financial matters).
3. Share your thoughts and aspirations with your partner. It is important that you both know each other’s plans and work out any differences, e.g. what if one wants to travel and the other stay at home? If you don’t have a partner, spend time talking to a professional, a family member or friend. It makes sense to talk!
On completion of any coaching programme, I will encourage my clients to create their personal mission statement – a short inclusive statement of their purpose. This is a very useful tool which helps the client stay focused on their retirement outcome.
There are many aids available to planning your retirement – a large proportion concentrate purely on financial matters – very important. However, my role as a retirement coach is a holistic one, focusing on all aspects of your personal well-being at this critical life stage.
Choices
There are no rights or wrongs in choosing how you spend your retirement years. 65.3% of my survey respondents saw their retirement as a ‘new beginning’ plus a further 13.6% saw it as ‘the best time of my life’. This is music to my ears!
Pursuing meaningful activities and experiences that are personally satisfying and fulfilling will certainly make it enjoyable, fun and enriching and add to your general well-being.
Christina Harkness
Tel: 02392 412416
christina@retirementcoach.co.uk
http://www.retirementcoach.co.uk/
Christina Harkness is a trained Retirement Options coach, a Time Line Therapy Practitioner, Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a certified NLP Life & Executive coach (ICF accredited).
Source: http://www.giddylimits.co.uk/
