Most people believe that life is better shared with a partner, however divorces happen, partners die and it’s not uncommon for people to find themselves alone in their later years. Some people prefer it that way, but if you’re single and looking for love or friendship, here are a few suggestions you could consider-
Leave your past relationships in the past. Focus on the person you are with and don’t start talking about past relationships until your new relationship or friendship is well established.
Do you know what qualities are important to you in a partner? What do you value? Is it honesty, trust, independence, humour, reliability? What character traits are you wary of? It goes without saying that you should avoid people exhibiting them.
Do you have a positive, optimistic outlook? This is more attractive to potential friends than someone who sees the negatives in most situations.
Don’t expect others to be perfect. There aren’t many perfect people on the planet. Are you really one of them? Once you see and accept your own faults, it’s easier to accept the failings of others. It’s better to focus on the good points of people rather than their bad ones.
Be curious and interested in other people. What have they done in their life? Where have they travelled? What are they interested in? Most people like talking about themselves and it’s an easy way to get a conversation going. You can also learn a lot about them.
Accept differences. An acceptance and tolerance of differences can be one of the benefits of getting older. We no longer have to seek out and mix mainly with people who are just like us. It’s more interesting to spend time with people who have different backgrounds and experiences.
Make the effort. It’s unlikely that your next partner or good friend will parachute into your backyard. You need to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. There are social and sporting clubs, volunteering opportunities, educational courses to enrol in, walking groups and senior dating sites on the internet to name just some of the options available.
You’ll find more useful articles in our book titled “How to be Happy, Retired & Single”.
