Retirement And Your Relationship

A few tips to consider:

Now that you’ve stopped spending the majority of your time at work and now spend most days and nights with your partner, it’s a good time to review this very important relationship. Here are a few suggestions –

  • Spend some time with your partner talking about your plans, hopes, wishes & concerns. You could both draw up a list showing what you would like to do together, separately or with friends. Once you’ve made your own individual lists, try combining them and see what items could go onto a list that you could both agree on. During this process it would be advisable to discuss the new break up of domestic responsibilities and set some ground rules that will help avoid friction as you adjust to a new lifestyle.
  • Talk to your immediate and perhaps your extended family. Talk about having more spare time and get their ideas on if and how they would like to see more of you. (beware of becoming everyone’s free and available baby sitter.)
  • If your partner has died or you’re divorced, this could be a good time to meet someone new and interesting. It’s unlikely that the partner you are seeking will just walk into your life. Think about developing a plan that will get you out and about in situations where you can meet new people. If you have got a good network, now is the time to use it. Have you considered trying computer-dating sites? Don’t dismiss them till you have at least had a look. Finding the right person probably won’t be easy, but if you don’t make the effort, it’s unlikely to just happen.
  • Retirement can have both good and bad impacts on peoples’ sexual relationships. You have got a lot more time for each other and hopefully a lot less stress in your lives. However it’s not unusual for one of the partners in a marriage to start to lose interest or the ability to perform. Communication is very important and the worst response is to say nothing and push your partner away. There are plenty of marriage and sexual counsellors who can help.
  • New and interesting pursuits. What’s the good of having all this extra time if you don’t make good use of it? Every day is a gift. Now is the time to do all the things you’ve talked about, but never had time for. It’s quite possible that as a result of discussions with your partner, you have both agreed on some new interests, pursuits and activities that you want to get out and enjoy. Do it!
  • It’s very important that you both have a positive attitude and a desire to enjoy your new found freedom. If you really want your 50s and 60s to be a great time of your lives, they will be.
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