Reminders
For grandparents
- Grandparenting is a very special relationship. It is an opportunity to do for your grandchildren what you may not have had the time to do for your own children.
- One of the best things that you can do for your grandchildren is to support their parents.
- Be willing to talk things over and ask your adult children what kind of help they most need.
- Support your adult children in their parenting.
- Notice what they do well and tell them.
- Ask their advice. Don’t expect them to take your advice but be willing to share ideas if there is an opportunity
For parents
- Ask your own parents (the grandparents) how they would like to be involved in your children’s lives.
- Be willing to talk things over.
- When you get advice, as you will, don’t automatically reject it. Think it over and then decide what you will do. If you decide not to take their advice, explain why.
- Remember that children can adjust to different ways of doing things, at your house and the grandparents’ house. It is one of the ways they learn about the world.
- If you think the rules at the grandparents’ house are too strict and are making your children unhappy, or they are not safe, you will need to explain to the grandparents why you feel that way.
- Remember that a bit of leeway (or spoiling) by grandparents won’t hurt your children or damage their relationship with you.
- Some grandparents tire easily and managing more than one preschool child for more than a short time may be too much. Be sensitive to this.
- Remember that grandparents have their own lives as well. Respect their decision about what they can and are willing to do for you
References
Goldberg-Glen, Robin et al. ‘Multigenerational patterns and internal structures in families in which grandparents raise children’. Families in Society: 79(5), 1998. 477-489.Gottfried, Adele, ‘Redefining families: implications for children’s development’. US: Plenum, 1994.Hall, Margaret ‘The special mission of grandparents: hearing, seeing, telling’. Westport: Bergin & Garvey, 1999.
Ochiltree G ‘The changing role of grandparents’ Australian Institute of Family Studies 2006
http://www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/pubs/briefing/briefing2.html
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